"Hard to buy for" is used for four completely different problems, and the reason it feels intractable is that people try to solve all four with the same approach.
Work out which one you are facing and the answer becomes considerably clearer.
One: they can buy anything they want
The person with the means and the inclination to purchase whatever they fancy. Nothing you buy will be better than what they would choose, and they will already have it.
The answer is not to spend more. It is to leave the category of purchasable things entirely.
Which points at three things: their own history, time with you with the logistics already handled, and something made about them. None of the three is available at any price, because each requires somebody who knows them to have gone and done something. They are the first, second and last items on the list further down.
Two: they genuinely want nothing
Different problem. This is somebody actively trying to have fewer possessions, and it is common from about seventy onwards and increasingly common at any age.
Take them seriously about objects. Ignore them about attention.
Almost nobody saying "please do not get me anything" means "please do not think about me". They mean do not spend money, do not add to the pile, do not create an obligation.
So: consumables, which disappear. Experiences, which have no footprint. Time, which is what they actually meant. Or something that replaces rather than adds, like a better photograph in a frame they already own.
More on this specific version in 80th birthday gift ideas.
Three: you do not know them well enough
Very common and rarely admitted. A colleague, a partner's parent, a new in-law, somebody you see twice a year.
There is one answer and it takes thirty seconds: ask somebody who does know them.
A sibling, a partner, somebody who sits near them. One message. "I want to get X something decent, what are they actually into?"
The barrier is a slight embarrassment about admitting you do not know, and swallowing that embarrassment is the entire difference between a guess and a gift. Nobody has ever thought less of somebody for asking this question.
Four: they are difficult about presents
The person who is critical, who returns things, who has strong opinions and no hesitation about expressing them.
Two honest strategies.
Consumable. Something good, that gets used up. There is nothing to be disappointed by in a fortnight and nothing to store. Genuinely good food, drink or coffee is a completely respectable gift and the risk is bounded.
Ask them directly and buy exactly what they say. People in this category usually know precisely what they want and are frequently irritated that nobody asks. The surprise is worth less than the fit, for them, and pretending otherwise is a decision made for your own benefit.
What does not work is trying to prove them wrong with something clever.
The one thing that cuts across all four
Specificity.
Whatever the version of the problem, a gift that proves attention outperforms a gift that proves budget. That is true for the person who can buy anything, the person who wants nothing, the person you barely know once you have asked, and the difficult one.
A £15 gift that could only have been for them beats a £150 one that could have been for anybody. This is the single most reliable rule in gift buying and it is the same conclusion reached in milestone birthday gift ideas for men and milestone birthday gift ideas for women.
What works whichever of the four you have
Because they all share the property above: each one proves attention rather than budget, and none of them can be answered with "I already have one".
Their own history, restored
Photographs scanned, repaired and reprinted. A record from a year that means something. The street they grew up on, drawn properly. None of it is purchasable in the ordinary sense, which is precisely why it works on the person who can buy anything.
A day with you, booked and paid, logistics handled
Not a voucher, which is admin dressed as a present. An actual date, an actual booking, the travel sorted, nothing left for them to arrange. The arranging is the gift; the activity is almost incidental.
Something consumable and genuinely good
Good food, good drink, good coffee, in a quantity that gets used up. There is nothing to be disappointed by in a fortnight and nothing to store, which makes it the safest answer for the person who is difficult about presents.
Something that replaces rather than adds
The kettle, the coat, the pan, the reading light. For anybody actively trying to own less, a gift that puts something in the bin is the only kind that does not violate what they asked for.
The thing they have mentioned and not bought
Most people have one. It is usually slightly too indulgent to justify, they have researched it thoroughly, and they have talked themselves out of it twice. Writing these down when you hear them is the entire technique.
Something they own, repaired properly
The clock, the chair, the watch, the ring. Restoring an object somebody already values skips the whole problem of adding another one, and it is a gift that could only have been chosen by somebody who noticed.
A service rather than an object
The cleaner, the gardener, the window cleaner, the ironing, for three months. Genuinely useful, entirely free of physical footprint, and it is the category most often dismissed as unromantic by people who have never been given it.
A named contribution to something they care about
Not a generic charity card. The specific thing they have quietly supported for years, given properly and in an amount that means something. For the person who wants nothing, this is frequently the answer they would have chosen themselves.
A skill of yours, given as time
Whatever you are good at, aimed at something they need. The decorating, the accounts, the photographs, the website, the lift to the hospital every Tuesday. It is the one gift on this list that cannot be bought at any price.
Something about the place they are from
Not where they live. An old map of the town, a photograph of the high street in the right decade, something from a shop that is still there. Specific, cheap, and unmistakably the result of having listened.
The good version of a thing they use every day
People replace almost nothing that still works, which means the daily objects are usually the oldest ones. Upgrading one is used several times a day and never has to be found a home.
Something made about them
Which is the argument for a commission, set out in the section below. It cannot already be owned, because it did not exist, and it cannot be bought elsewhere, which answers all four versions of the problem at once.
Why commissioning suits this problem
Being direct about why this is on our site, since we make them.
Something made about somebody sidesteps all four problems at once. It cannot be already owned, because it did not exist. It cannot be bought elsewhere. It has no footprint if it is digital. And it is very difficult to be difficult about something that took effort and is manifestly about you.
The brief is what makes it work rather than the budget, which is set out in how to write a brief for a custom game. A game about somebody's actual house, actual dog and actual running joke is a different object from a personalised one with their name on it.
Commissions start at £99 for a single level and £349 for a multi-level build with a cast.
It is not the answer for everybody. If somebody would find it baffling, it will baffle them, and we would rather say that than take an order. But for the person who has everything, it is one of the few remaining categories that they genuinely do not have.
What to avoid, in all four cases
Buying up in price to compensate for not knowing. It is visible.
A gift set. The bundled hamper of small items is the least personal option available.
Anything that requires them to do admin.
Guessing when asking was available.
What this means
Work out which of the four you have. The answers are different.
Ask somebody closer to them. For at least one of the four, that is the whole solution.
And specific beats expensive, in every one of them.
